im used to sleeping alone in my room but since my lola died, i got to talk to my little brother to join me so i can sleep... paranoid!

im scared that she's gonna visit me again just like what she did the first night she was buried! he always join me in my room (im talking about my little bro) but when my father went back to abroad he start to sleep again with my mother, he's a mama's boy!

i have no choice but to sleep alone

but i always wake up in the middle of the night... so paranoid! it's getting harder for me to sleep day after day...
and at this very moment i feel so dizzy and my head aches

i have watched the koreanovela irene, i really like that girl! i really believe that one of the best motivators in life is revenge. she want to take revenge against the woman who have just destroy her family. revenge will make you strive harder to reach your purpose. but im not saying revenge is good actually it's bad.

it will not make you see the beauty of life coz you are blinded by your hatred. all you feel is hatred and it is bad for your health. you will miss many things for you are bitter. eventhough you have avenge yourself or your family, you are still the loser.

you will feel you have fulfilled your purpose but it will not make you happy. hurting others will not bring happiness. i really like her for she seem so strong but fragile. just like me...

trust. so simple yet so hard to gain

why do they always treat me this way? im not a baby anymore! can they at least give me a credit for obeying them

everytime there's a phone call for me and it's a guy my mom freak out! hello... what can a phone call do to me? can't they see it's harmless! she always act like a detective that it seem to me that everyword that comes out from my mouth is recorded.

privacy. everyone needs it!

can they at least give me SOME privacy! im a grown-up now! they don't give me space to grow. they always say that i can't do it! well how can they know such thing if they haven't try what their daughter can do!

my friend said that maybe my mom was just afraid that i might get a boyfriend. what's the problem in having a boyfriend?

i know they trust me, maybe it's the people around me that they dont trust but can't they see that i can handle it!

maybe they dont know me that much

i hate it when they dont understand me. what's wrong in entertaining phone calls from a guy?

im happy when im talking to someone. they dont understand it. they aren't happy when im chattin with someone. what do they want me to be? a loner who's always in her room?! i want to learn how to socialize with others, i want to make friends!

they are afraid that i might fall in love funny but im not! they said you will not mature unless you got hurt... im waiting to be hurt! weird huh!

i wanna feel im as normal as the other girls are! if they are going to lock me in this house or in my room im gonna miss many things that a teenager usually do!

i dont need sympathy

neither do i need care

i just want to be free

free from the people who's always depriving me my right

i dont need their care, coz they never give me a damn when i need it!

they dont know me

they will never know me...

they really think im a person who really dont care about things

they judge me... and still judging me!

aren't they happy that i grow up like this? i dont want to hurt them. i keep obeying them eventhough it hurts me. i want to please them. i will do anything to make them happy

they dont care about my feelings...

and i dont care if they care! i dont need it!

i can handle things in my own!

they underestimate me...

sometimes i feel like im really bad. i hurt the feelings of people who only wants to love me but i dont do it intentionally.

im trying my best to evade them, i dont want to hurt them

but the more i evade them the more they want to catch me

they think im an angel. hah. can an evil like me be an angel?

my mom dont allow me to mingle with guys. she's afraid that i might fall. well mom, i dont fall they did! i just wanted to have a guy friend but there is no luck...

my mom scolded me yesterday. she said i will not entertain any phone calls again... im grounded!

there's a guy that is madly in love with me, he said it i dont believe him and im trying my best to discourage him. he can't reach me yesterday for my mom hang the phone and i turn off my cell phone. when i turn on my cell this morning i received a text from him. he said "kala ko ba angel kita bakit di mo ako inaalagaan"

what the hell?! im not an angel and i dont want to care for somebody who is out of his head! he's the reason why my mom scolded me and i dont want him to be the reason of having a fight with my mom. he's not even my boyfriend! im tired of him!

i really hate people who is "paawa effect"
i will not buy it!

he's threatening me saying he'll take suicide just to end his crazy state. of course i told him not to do it! and he give me a deal, he's asking me to choose. actually he dont give me a choice, he's asking me to just say yes! that makes me mad! i dont want to be control by anyone he sensed that im angry and he said sorry!

im sorry too he will not gonna hear from me again!